This year marks 10 years since one of the worst times in my life. It was the early morning of Thanksgiving Day 2010. My fiancé died. Without warning or without cause, my world changed forever. There is just no way to prepare yourself for something like this. It would have been very easy for me to crawl into a corner and feel sorry for myself but what good would this blog be if that’s what I did. Don’t get me wrong, I was sad and I hurt; I hurt real bad for a long time. A life had ended - but it wasn’t my life.
I was a single mom and a hard working dental assistant. When I was 20 years old, I opened a retirement account. For 18 years, I worked hard and had a pretty good little nest egg for myself. Then I met a dentist who thought I was the bees knees. When he asked me to work for him exclusively, I accepted. Our professional relationship got more personal as the years went on. We started growing dental practices together and it was a blast! When he asked me to marry him, I accepted. I cashed in my retirement and invested in our business. Everything was so right. Six months later, he was gone.
What was I going to do? Where was I going to go? No one could have predicted a relatively healthy 47 year old man would pass away in the middle of the night. I couldn’t think about that. There was no time to mourn. We weren’t married, so legally, I was not entitled to anything. Everything we had built together was suddenly gone. I had two options: Crawl into a dark place and feel sorry for myself or take charge of my life! I chose the latter.
I had to start over. I accepted the first job I was offered, packed up everything I owned (including my amazing lab, Frodo) and drove 2500 miles. A husband and wife dental team who reached out to me after learning about my fiancé's death had asked if I can help grow their practice. After one month, the married couple filed for divorce and closed the dental practice. I just showed up and the doors were closed.
We never learn as much from good times as we do from pain. You GROW in painful times. Sometimes you will fail but the faster you get back in the fight the closer you are to victory. When life throws out a curveball, swing. You might miss but don’t go down on strikes looking.
Yes, I fell hard that fateful day but I have grown a lot since then. My faith grew stronger. Good things come out of tragedy or failures. Through stress and heartbreak you build character. Without suffering you cannot develop wisdom. This Thanksgiving, be thankful for the losses.
Ok, 2020 has been rough, but I heard a quote whirling around; “while we’re not in the same boat, we’re all going through the same storm.” You are surviving. You are being incredibly resourceful. Instead of burying your head in the sand, you’ve done some much needed improvements. Instead of letting your employees go, you cut back. You gained more understanding. Keep it up. It is likely that this COVID stuff is going to get worse before it gets better. Just know that things WILL GET BETTER. Don’t fall back; fall forward and be thankful.
